Civility Is in Short Supply
And It Matters More Than Ever
Civility feels scarce. Not because people don’t care, but because speed has replaced reflection, reaction has replaced restraint, and volume has replaced thoughtfulness. We respond before we consider. We broadcast before we understand. We defend before we listen. Somewhere in that acceleration, something essential has thinned.
Civility is not about etiquette in the formal sense, nor about rules for their own sake. It is about awareness — the discipline of remembering that other people matter. It is the pause before speaking, the measured tone in disagreement, the choice to refrain from humiliation when it would be easier not to.
It is not about lowering your voice, but elevating your conduct — disagreeing without disrespect and holding your ground without hostility. The distinction may be subtle, but it shapes the entire exchange.
It is easier to interrupt than to wait, easier to sharpen a sentence than to soften it, easier to win a moment than to preserve a relationship. Civility resists that pull. It asks us to consider not only whether we are right, but whether we are respectful — in boardrooms, at home, in public life, and especially when tension rises.
Civility is composure under pressure, the quiet confidence of someone who does not need to raise their voice to be heard. It requires self-governance and attention to tone, timing, and impact. We may not control the temperature of the world around us, but we control the temperature we contribute. It is practiced one conversation at a time, one email at a time, one disagreement at a time.
Civility will never be loud, but it will always be powerful. It may be in short supply—and that makes it more valuable than ever. Choosing it is never outdated. It is simply good behavior.
The Golden Rule
Civility is composure under pressure.
Manners Matter. Start Here.
If you’re ready to elevate how you show up — at the table, in conversation, at work, and online, my online Dining Etiquette Masterclass is a great place to begin. Modern etiquette isn’t about rigid rules. It’s about confidence, awareness, and knowing how to navigate today’s world with grace. Right now, I’m offering the class for $19.99 (normally $59.99) as a Lunar New Year special. Learn more here.
About Lisa Mirza Grotts
Lisa Mirza Grotts is a nationally recognized etiquette expert, author, and media contributor known as The Golden Rules Gal™.
She has spent over two decades teaching the value of consideration — helping people navigate everything from dining tables to boardrooms to digital conversations with confidence and ease.
Blending timeless principles with modern realities, Lisa brings clarity to what good manners look like today. Next up in the series: Bad Manners Are Contagious.
