1. Diet and Exercise. Follow a clean diet and get regular exercise for the health of it! 2. Dress To Impress. There doesn’t have to be a designer label on the tag to look well-groomed. 3. Hair. Keep it clean and use a brush every once in a while. 4. Maintain Your Style. Whatever your…
The 'tipping point’ happened in 2020. In normal times, gratuity depends on the quality and frequency of service. As servers are paid a low base pay, a little extra can make a big difference in the time of Covid. The amount all depends on the type of service, but one thing experts all agree on…
The best host is one who enjoys her own party. When you are present to mix and mingle vs. take care of details that should have been done ahead of time, the night will not be as festive. The P-word is important, as in ‘planning’ not ‘procrastinating.’ Cramming does not fit into the equation. There…
1. Extra Credit. Provide extras such as towels, slippers, and pillows. 2. Bedtime Comforts. Go the extra step by placing a piece of chocolate and a water bottle in their room before bedtime. 3. Octane Provisions. Show them where the coffee and tea are for breakfast so you can sleep in. 4. Extra Toiletries. Always…
1. White. It’s the bride’s day to wear this color. You have 364 other days to do so. 2. Black. It’s a wedding, not a funeral. 3. Evening Gown. Even if the wedding is black tie, you will outshine the bride and all other guests. 4. Bold Patterns. Keep the leopard motif for clubbing. 5.…
“In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” – Fred Rogers 1. Be Generous. You have a gorgeous garden; share your tomatoes and your harvest or your…
FACT: People like to do business with people they like. And why not when research shows we form 90% of our opinion in the first 90 seconds of meeting someone. The goal is to let your first impression shine to get ahead, not be left behind. With so much focus on technology, there is less…
1. What types of backgrounds should you use on a professional call? Your house may not look like Versailles, so clean up your background to give the impression that it is. Remove any clutter, knickknacks, or personal photos. If applicable, a company banner looks professional. 2. In what types of scenarios should you have your…
I sang the national anthem at Candlestick Park in San Francisco on Flag Day, June 14, 1996. I had dinner with John F. Kennedy Junior at the Saks men's store in San Francisco. It was his one-year anniversary to Carolyn Bessette. I sang the solo "When I Grow Too Old to Dream" at my high…
Where is far, far away, and how do I get there? Dear 2020, 2021, and 2022, None of this sh** was on my vision board! As the meme goes, “What a year this week has been!” Unfortunately, we are still finding ourselves in a covid conundrum. I want to have parties, but not many people…
Act your best at all times. Apologize when you’re in the wrong. Be kind when you speak. Be punctual. Bring hostess gifts. Don’t criticize others if you don’t want to be criticized back. Don’t be a gossip. Don’t “reply all.’ Don’t send emails in all CAPS. Dress to make an impression. Eat with your mouth…
What a year this week has been. My mom always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything. Yet here I am, saving the world. Can anyone recommend a good breakfast wine? Back in my day, the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled “last call.” I’m having a quarantine party tomorrow.…
Do you need to buy a gift for a destination wedding? Green (aka money) goes with everything, even destination weddings. Although destination weddings can be pricey, a gift is still in order if you attend. Do the same rules of thumb for spending apply? Far-flung wedding destinations are romantic, and a thoughtful bride and groom…
Mi casa es su casa. In 1941, Dorothy Draper wrote Entertaining is Fun, and she was right. Nothing is difficult when you’re organized. While entertaining, the more you plan and pre-plan, the more fabulous your party will be. Lisa’s Golden Rules: Everyone is food-centric these days, so it’s not a bad idea to send an…
If a computer-generated Alexa can respond by saying “on it, “ certainly you can respond when others contact you and on time. Let’s face it: It’s hard not to be responsive. Smartphones are attached to our hips, and Alexa and Siri take our commands within seconds. Yet many people employ a selective response. This is…
Has anyone else noticed that grocery markets have upped the ante on novelty items? It seems that I can’t go to a food market without buying candles, silver polish, or dish towels. Yes, inflation is on the rise but at least it’s one-stop shopping. If you’re Covid paranoid, you can kill two birds with one…
1. Kill them with kindness. As the saying goes, “Don’t let them see you sweat.” You can save that for the gym. 2. Treat them with respect. If they feel disrespected, then your conversation will go nowhere. So always treat others the way you want to be treated. 3. Be reasonable. Easier said than done…
Did you miss a deadline or come to a meeting unprepared? We all make mistakes in life, but recovering from them is the key to success. Often, we make them without even being aware of them, such as wiping your nose with your napkin at lunch or forgetting to make an important introduction. Actions speak…
I’m a window gal, but there are three choices of seating on an airplane: the aisle, middle, and window seat. Most passengers put a lot of thought into choosing their seats, so they might think twice if someone asks them to swap seats. It seems that whenever I fly, I spy an onboard shuffle in…
1. Be on time for meetings. If not, it says that your time is more important than everyone else’s. 2. Keep your desk tidy. Your office is a place of business, and you might have visitors unannounced. 3. Ladies, when seated, don’t cross your legs. Instead, cross at the ankle, please. 4. Make others feel…
A thank you note is always in Vogue, and if you have a stationery wardrobe, you're way ahead of the game. We live in a world of shortcuts which is why we tend to gravitate to a handwritten letter in a pile of mail. What should you write in a thank you note? When writing a…
If you like to entertain and want to show off your hosting skills this holiday season, go ahead and do so, but make sure your guests will want to come back. Here are 10 Common Mistakes Hosts Make: 1. They cancel the party on the day of. 2. They are not ready when the first…
1. The RSVP A regrets-only party is a recipe for disaster. Make sure your invite is clear and that your guests know to RSVP so you can plan ahead versus being left in a bind. 2. Too Many Courses Three courses are plenty. It’s not a fundraising auction where you want people to stick around…
Trends may come and go, but 24/7 online shopping is here to stay, especially during the holiday season. Try these 7 shopping tips on for size: 1. Shop Early. News reports indicate we may have less to choose from this season, so get online early. 2. Check Delivery Dates and if Items Can Be Returned.…
Don’t be shocked at your party if the unimaginable happens. I’ve never hosted a party, or have been to a party where there were no inappropriate actions, special requests, or rude behavior. But, It’s how you handle the situation that counts. Here are a few common mistakes party guests make: They don’t RSVP but still…
Thanksgiving speaks to our stomachs. It’s a day that revolves around food and more food. But entertaining of any kind takes planning. If you serve dinner for 6 or 60, you still need a game plan. 1. Create a To-Do List Start with the basics: guest list, food list, timeline, helpers, etc. 2. Set the…
Relax, you’ve been vaxxed! A vaccination card is the new status symbol and the “it” topic of discussion. Like everything having to do with the Pandemic of 2020, think ‘mass messaging confusion.’ We have been living with a fear of infection for quite some time, but our coping mechanisms are only improving. Here are some…
Anyone else having mask fatigue? As an Aquarian, I am a forward-thinking person who finds it difficult not to plan for the future. I am also over swallowing minute mask fibers and inhaling my own breath, which usually smells of coffee or mints. Masks are now a part of routine life but add the social…
Is it possible to transform an ordinary day into an extraordinary one? It is when you’ve accepted an invitation to attend a formal dinner at Windsor Castle hosted by His Royal Highness, The Prince of Wales. For fairy tale purposes, let’s call it a ball. What to Expect In my 2009 book, A Traveler’s Passport…
Since March of 2020, it seems like Halloween has been one big trick without a treat. You’re probably thinking, “How is it already this time of the year again?” And your kids are probably wondering what’s on the agenda. With the rise in Covid cases, especially among children, your annual Halloween party has probably been…
Grooming. Clean up your act when it comes to brows, eyes, nose, and ears. Remove any unwanted hairs. Coordinate. Black goes with everything, but typically colors that clash do not. Know the best colors that ‘suit’ your skin tone. Accessorize. Jewelry, watches, sunglasses, briefcases, and cufflinks fit into this category. Know the Dress Code. When…
Can you watch my baby while I take a nap? Travel by car or bring along your nanny. The flight attendant is there to take care of you and your safety, not to babysit. Can you lift my bag up to the overhead compartment for me? Check your bag if it’s too heavy. I will…
Life happens when we least expect it. As the saying goes, there’s a first time for everything. I just didn’t think my first time would be giving a eulogy at my young niece Charlotte’s memorial service. I am both sad and honored to pay tribute to her. Death will become all of us, so why…
SafetyDon’t stick out. Leave your family heirlooms and designer luggage at home, or you’ll be a victim. PackingLess is more, so you always have room to bring back gifts from your travels. SelfiesBe mindful of snapping shots in museums or sacred places where it’s not allowed. ReadLearn as much as you can about the country…
Be a Resource For Others. You don’t need to create a resource guide to help others. However, one resourceful act will do. Be Kind, so You Never Have to Rewind. We have all learned this the hard way. Be Nice to People on the Way up Because You Might Need Them on the Way Down.If…
You will have plenty to juggle when planning a wedding. But, if you can have a one-page printed sheet along with a note on your phone with all of your wedding information, life will be a whole lot easier. Here are my top picks, but create your own and plan as you go. You’re all…
Tipping in the time of COVID requires extra generosity. With the global shutdown and everyone shut-in, it’s time to make our re-entry in a generous way. Of course, the amount all depends on the type of accommodation. But one thing experts all agree on is when in doubt, give. And make sure to have change…
Going on a date is like planning a vacation: it’s half the fun! That’s why when your date cancels, it’s normal to be disappointed, but like everything in life, disappointment should be handled with grace. There could be more than one reason for a postponement, so take it at face value without overthinking the why.…
You’ve planned that all-important power lunch. The ask has been made, but that’s just the beginning. Here are some questions and answers to make it a success. When is it okay to start talking business? If business has not been discussed by dessert, by all means, bring it up. If you run out of time,…
What to Say If You’re Asked for a Loan? If you’re going to lend money, there needs to be ground rules so things won’t be awkward. Be firm and employ a script if you have to. Time will be the enemy if your requests go ignored. The longer it goes unpaid, the less likely it…
Travelers’ rights are an oxymoron. We pay more and more for travel, yet we get less and less. According to the Department of Transportation, there’s only a 1% chance that your luggage will be lost or misplaced. However, when this happens, it seems like the end of the world. Here’s how to lower the odds:…
Emails should be short, not essays. This is especially true with the number of emails we receive. Here are a few tips on sending and receiving emails so your message will be read: Focus on your message and get it across quickly, and one subject at a time. Links are fine to include with emails,…
The sky isn’t so friendly for passengers, but friendly or not, safety comes first. If you’re able to assist in case of an emergency - wonderful! So who should not be seated in an exit row? 1. Children under 15 years of age. 2. Passengers with pets. 3. Hearing impaired. 4. Passengers with mental impairments.…
Avoid road rage in parking lots. Play it safe, not sorry If you’re shopping with kids, keep them busy. Make sure to bring snacks or toys. Don’t be a victim of circumstance. Always zip your purse and keep your shopping bags close by. Be courteous to store employees. Your patience may be tried if the…
Friendships can be tricky, and social media only adds to the false allure that my life is better than yours because of a posting while in Paris. Of course, you were in Paris, Texas, but online perception has become the new reality. Friendship is a two-way street, and some people are better at keeping in…
Thomas Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. We all strive to be polite and practice common courtesy. However, sometimes we make mistakes, and often unconsciously. Paying attention to these 10 blunders will help you be socially successful. Wiping Your Nose with Your Napkin. That’s what a handkerchief, tissue, or the restroom…
Unless you have a backyard with a fence, your dog is going to need daily exercise. Always walk your dog on a leash. If you encounter other dogs barking, try and avoid them. If another dog approaches you, ask the owner if their animal is pet-friendly. It’s never ok for your dog to do business…
Sometimes we are rude without even knowing it. In general, stay away from topics that are controversial, like politics or religion. And whether you know another person well or not, some questions should never be asked. Here are some dangerous remarks that can come across as nosy, mean, or “Oops! I just stuck my foot…
When traveling with a senior, speed is your enemy. Slow down and follow these tips: Don't stress them out by giving too much information. Less is more if you want to prevent confusion. Create a written itinerary. Be sure to include contact information for each travel venue. Create this using a pen and paper, not…
How does a naturally polite person draw the line between being courteous and being a pushover? Is there a polite way to say 'no' to someone? Do you say yes when you really mean no? Some people are born pleasers, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing as long as you don’t let others take…
The eyes have had it! When it comes to looking at a computer screen for five-plus hours a day, the eyes will take a toll. Here’s how to help preserve your child’s vision even with screen time being a large part of the day. If not, glasses may be required. Keep a Safe Distance. Remote…
Where do we first learn about money? At home. I recall going with my mother to a Crocker Bank in Sacramento (later acquired by Wells Fargo) to open my first savings account. The teller was tall and thin with Aqua Net hair. She looked at me with very intent eyes then said I had a…
In sickness and in health, we all take to the airways, but with Covid-19, the rules above the clouds have changed. The year the earth stood still, a face mask became the new wardrobe staple, and soon we may need ‘proof of’ vaccination stamps in our passport. Here Are 10 Ways Travel Has Changed Since…
Does anybody miss dining out? I don’t mean outside; I mean sitting inside a restaurant. San Francisco has entered the orange tier, which means 50% of restaurant capacity is allowed to dine indoors. Eating out is still a privilege, and if you’re comfortable and have had your vaccinations, it’s clear that space still matters. Here…
When I think back to all the years that I pleaded with more than one former boss to let me work at home, the answer was always no. Now that we’re home seven days a week, how I wish I could go back to the office if only for one day! In one year, we…
You’re a Caregiver. If you fall into this category, you’re eligible. Slow Rollout. Distribution differs from county to county, state to state, and in a phased approach. If the government can’t get its act together, it’s not your fault. If you find a loophole, why not take it? Underlying Health Conditions. The list is long,…
Virtual dating has gone viral, especially since Covid. It’s the new normal, but it’s not normal at all. It’s one thing to have a zoom meeting, but it’s another to date on a screen. This, of course, will not be our world forever, but it is for now. If you still can’t go anywhere, watch…
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 states the benefits of being with someone. It says that two people are better off than one because they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Why not apply this Biblical passage to mask safety?…
St. Patrick’s Day parades may be canceled, but that doesn’t mean the Irish community and their friends will come out in droves now that bars are back in business. This year, St. Paddy’s Day is not an invitation to spread germs. Instead, let’s continue to spread the joy of the holiday but let’s do it…
What To Expect Virtual career fairs are just like traditional ones; the only difference is that it’s held virtually on an interactive platform. Your online presence will be different because you meet in a chat room as an individual or group. The pandemic has changed the way we communicate. Overnight, a handshake became a weapon,…
Lisa Grotts, The Golden Rules Gal: Five Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started My Consulting Business
The Vaccine Is Free. And it will help stop the further spread of the pandemic. Do You Plan on Traveling Abroad? If you’re a traveler, many airlines and countries will require proof of vaccination. Additionally, if you travel for work, this is the only one choice. Covid-19 Can Kill You. If you’re not worried about…
Your Health. If you’re not on a respirator, then count yourself lucky. Family Time. The lockdown has brought families closer together. Home Office. You wanted to work from home. Your wish came true. Clarity. The year has brought us clarity to what’s important in life. Connectivity. Humans were meant to congregate, not isolate. Life is…
Check-In. Be a comfort to those in need. Love thy neighbor. Flatten the Curve. If you go out, wear a mask and stay 6 feet apart. Donate Blood. If you’re healthy, help someone who’s not. Deliver Groceries. This is the perfect errand for those at higher risk. Support Local. Help them stay afloat and thrive.…
I’ve never forgotten the episode of Sex and the City when Jack Berger breaks up with Carrie Bradshaw on a yellow Post-It Note, nor have I been able to look at real-life actor Ron Livingston the same way since. The book by author Greg Behrendt of the same name was a best seller, and the…
Three buzz words will get you through the holiday season: location, duration and guests. Translation: outdoors, short and small. Time is still our enemy, even with a vaccine in our not-so-distant future. It won’t happen before the new year and now is not the time to let your guard down. Virus fatigue has set in,…
2020 is a year like no other. Add Christmas and New Year’s Eve to the list and we will have come full circle. Enjoy the annual traditions in a non-traditional way. For your consideration. Prepare For The Worst, Expect The Best. Unpredictable is the word of the season, so learn to adapt to last minute…
Covid-19 has all given us extra time to think, clean and remodel. Even though you may not get to see your friends re-do, you can send them a gift. Try these on for size: Advice: We all have friends whose homes or tastes we love. Advice makes a great gift, while hiring friends isn’t wise. …
Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend A new decade birthday deserves special attention. My friend Mary happens to love diamonds, so this was an easy theme. When Audrey Hepburn had breakfast at Tiffany, she wore a diamond tiara and the photos of her are framed in the San Francisco Union Square store. For the invitation…
While no list is entirely inclusive, there are many ways to help not hurt a patient. When President Trump was diagnosed with the coronavirus, I was horrified to see comments on social media about his demise. FACT: The coronavirus does not recognize race, nationality or ethnicity. It also doesn’t recognize red states or blue states. …
Q: Is There An Accepted Optimum Length Of Stay That House Guests Should Observe? There is a common saying: Guests are like fish. They begin to smell after three days. As for Covid-19, less is more when it comes to guests and person-to-person contact. If you have guest quarters away from your main house, that…
Assess Your Risk. Any time you leave your house, you increase your risk of contracting the coronavirus. The sneaky part of this virus is that we can have it and be asymptomatic for up to 14 days, so it’s advised not to travel if you have any flu-like symptoms. Before You Travel. Check the…
How To Celebrate In A World Standing Still My get out of jail ‘quarantini’ party has long been canceled. Even with a vaccine on the horizon, the silver set and first responders will be the first in line as well they should be. At that rate, masks will be the rage for quite some time. …
Route 66 How could I not plan a celebration for my husband’s 66th birthday? If you’ve traveled on U.S. Route 66 then you know it's legendary history. The route was also established in the month of November very close to John’s birthday, so this was a no brainer. Travel is my husband‘s favorite pastime as…
Covid-19 should have been enough, but 2020 has turned out to be what Queen Elizabeth once referred to as ‘Annus Horribilis.’ Between millions dying worldwide, fires burning in the California wine country and the president coming down with the virus, it’s hard to imagine what else could go wrong. With 60 until 2021, I am…
Halloween is the perfect holiday to happen during a pandemic because you can wear your costume every day of the week: it’s called a mask. Avoid making it a John Carpenter Halloween. The film is a masterpiece, but getting this virus will be your worst nightmare. Enjoy the spirit of Halloween but please do it…
The gloves are off. Dignity and respect, or appalling and disrespectful? All parties after the fact will have their own narrative. Round three make take on a different tenor. In a presidential debate setting big brother isn’t watching; the world is watching. Apply the Golden Rule: Treat others in the same manner you wish to…
The Goddess of 5th Avenue Buddha was born in 623 B.C. My friend Carole Simone was born in October, and she wrote a book about Quan Yin called The Goddess of 5th Avenue. We have been friends for over 20 years, so to celebrate her decade birthday I was happy to organize a Quan Yin…
Immigration. The Environment. Healthcare. Diversity. If you want to nip a political firestorm in the bud, try these answers as a guide to your future responses. The only conflict resolution is to agree to disagree, which equals being tolerant even though we may not accept the opposing view. Keep the goal of any conversation civil.…
My favorite golden rule of conversation is to avoid these three topics: politics, sex and religion. While they can be good, bad and ugly, there’s no escaping their controversy. We have no control over the actions or words of politicians, but we are in complete control of our own behavior. In the workplace, these are…
Our country is deeply divided. The political process wouldn’t take place without differing opinions, yet we are losing our basic right to speak up. Healthy dialogue has been replaced by intolerance on both sides of the aisle. Political activism may be your thing, but keep in mind it isn’t for everyone. No matter how…
1. Explain The Election Process Start with the basics: From the requirements to be a candidate and primaries, to the national conventions and electoral college. Test their knowledge and quiz them on how many electoral votes are at stake in their state. 2. Share Your Political Views Let kids know that it’s ok to have…
My dear friend Merla Zellerbach died six years ago. Merla was a mentor to me, and gave me my first writing assignment at the Nob Hill Gazette where she was Editor-in-chief. She was a force in her own right: Attended Stanford, wrote 13 novels plus 5 self-help books, and was a longtime panelist on the…
Millions of Americans embrace worship as an essential part of life; This is what it means to be a community of faith. But as we have been aware since Easter Sunday, a congregation of people also presents a risk for increasing the spread of Coronavirus. Safety is everyone’s first concern, not only for congregants but…
1. Flexibility: Our new world will require flexibility. It’s not the time to make judgement calls about the behavior of others. Focus on your own behavior, which is what counts. 2. Schools and Workplace: Both have implemented tele-schooling and tele-working. 3. Grocery Shopping: New guidelines: from one-way aisles to employees disinfecting carts, and the obvious of keeping a…
New dining etiquette rules will require trust, flexibility and patience because they are new and unfamiliar. Our stepping out moment has finally come, yet many people are apprehensive about dining out because home has been their safe place for so long. Further, we cannot always count on other people to do what they’re supposed to;…
Mobile check-in: Think hotel apps for a contactless check-in process. Buffets: Goodbye buffets, hello room service. The same goes for mini bars and grab and go dining. Bellhop: Less will be more when it comes to luggage as bellhop services will be eliminated. Common Areas: They will have social distancing markers for crowd control, and…
Check In: There will be controlled measures such as screening, disinfectant protocols and plenty of hand sanitizer. Weights: Staff will be required to wear gloves and masks, but it’s not a bad idea for members. Weights are so often touched that it will be impossible to do a thorough cleaning between reps. Group classes: They…
Sol Sisters Spa Week One of my favorite places on planet earth is Rancho La Puerta in Tecate, Mexico. I have been a spa guest for 20 years but never with my best friends, and I so wanted to share this special place with them. The Gift Of Time The trip was a terrific belated…
Server. Instead of being served you serve yourself; this may include opening your own bottle. Fresh Air. Most tastings will be done outdoors. Groups. Less is more, so six or less in a group and six feet apart, please. Food. Food is now required in order to taste the wines. Also, I bet that jars…
Avoid an in-person appointment if you’re feeling under the weather. Opt for a Telehealth appointment instead. Wear your mask in the office until instructed to remove it. Patients will be seated in a marked seating waiting area. Expect temperatures and a health screening to be in place upon arrival. The less contact the better,…
Our big moment has finally come, or has it? So many people are apprehensive about stepping out after being sheltered for so long. Rules are ambiguous at best. There’s no uniformity to how we are now supposed to live, other than we must wear a mask when we cannot social distance. Life isn’t the same;…
And you’re off! It may not be to Africa or Antibes, but car travel is the new vacation. As the author of a travel book, prepping for any trip takes time. Create a checklist much like a shopping list. If you’re organized prior to leaving, you’ll have more enjoyment on the road and when you…
The Invisible Person. Our faces may be under wraps, but as we re-enter into society our interaction with other people will require a bit of extra work. A concealed face represents a challenge not only in expression but in voice. Keep in mind the following: 60 – 70% of what we communicate has nothing to…
Charlotte’s Lucky Charms: Hearts In Healdsburg My twin niece and nephew, Charlotte and Matthew, turned sixteen last August. The eldest of the two by two minutes, Charlotte was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma (bone cancer) just days before her fifteenth birthday. To cheer her up for her sixteenth birthday gift, I offered to take her on vacation…
Touch-less Greetings. Gone are handshakes and paper tickets. What else will we say goodbye to? Crowds. With less crowds you may never have to wait in line for a public restroom again. Food Choices. This means different things to different people. To me it means no more self-serve anything such as salad bars, buffets, or…
Check-In. It’s fun to be spontaneous. Restaurants are now operating at limited capacity, so make a reservation otherwise your wait time might be indefinite. Plus, chances are you’ll be asked to wait outside until the table is ready. Condiments. Bye, bye condiments of any kind. If you see salt and pepper, unwrapped straws, or anything…
Social media is lightning fast, and oftentimes we hit send before we’ve had a chance to swallow our thoughts. When this happens, mistakes happen. Unless we go back and look at our posting right away to edit, that’s when trouble begins. No one means to be so rude unless they are a full-fledged bully, but when…
Full Moon Friday My husband and I had been working on a garden redo for two years, so to celebrate its completion we decided to throw a summer soirée. We were in Hawaii when we planned the party. I remember this well because it rained our entire trip, so beach and golf time were replaced…
Life took a turn for the worse in mid-March. Two months seems like two years. The Pandemic of 2020 has led to many strong emotions: fear, anxiety and worry, but it’s important to know that none of us are alone in this uncertain time. Fear Everyone copes with stress in different ways. When I’m in…
Pomp And Unusual Circumstance Two months ago your future was bright. Graduation and a career were on the horizon. Now the path you forge will look different. Since March, you’ve had ample practice in patience, flexibility and learning to adapt. Now comes the hard part: what is next? Remote Graduation It’s a year that you…
A Whole New World Our lives have been impacted in ways we never thought possible. Mother Nature was not kidding when she sent everyone to their rooms and said, “Don’t come out until I tell you to come out.” For 10 straight weeks we have done just that. Until we have a vaccine, our only…
Covid-19 has changed the landscape of our lives. We aren’t quite sure what dining will look like except that we will once again be around others. While it’s impossible to isolate at a restaurant, congregating in groups will be a thing of the past. Social entertainment may make people apprehensive, especially for those who have…
Never in my wildest dreams (and I dream a lot), could I have imagined a world with masks and other personal protective equipment. When my 2009 book “A Traveler’s Passport To Etiquette” was published, life had changed since 9/11, but this pandemic has drastically changed our daily lives and routines. Today marks nine weeks of…
Trish’s Mouseketeers ‘Oh Mickey, you're so fine You're so fine, you blow my mind Hey Mickey, hey Mickey Oh Mickey, you're so fine…’ Toni Basil’s 1981 hit “Mickey” is one catchy tune. But the lyrics took on a new meaning when I found out that my friend Trish had fallen in love with Mickey Mouse…
Mourning Six Feet Apart “The wound is the place where the light enters you“ – Rumi If you have quarantine fatigue, welcome to the club. Spring has always been my least favorite season and this pandemic only confirms it. Our new normal even affects the healing process. While death will become all of us, this…
Taking one’s time at the grocery market is a thing of the past. The new motto is to ‘get in and get out’ with as little contact as possible. So how to shop while avoiding people? It’s not so easy when the isles are narrow and the store is packed. Here are a few tips…
Is It Time To Re-Think The Handshake? We fell asleep in one world and woke up in another, and now we are making up the new rules of communication as we go along. Who would have thought a handshake would be a weapon, and a deadly one at that! There has been much talk about…
Never Engage Or There Could Be Rage When it comes to the shaming of others who are not following shelter in place guidelines, the big question is - Is quarantine shaming working as a social detriment? Used effectively, if it discourages others from bad behavior then by default it becomes a social norm. When behavior…
Never in my lifetime did I think I would be part of a global pandemic. As such, we have all learned that in a very short time the rules as we once knew them have changed and will keep evolving. Evolution is a gradual climb, but this has been sudden and unforeseen. The playing field…
What a difference a month makes! We have gone from no handshaking to elbow bumps, to six feet apart and now sheltering in place with masks. In our new world, Zoom has replaced the workplace meeting. It’s a great tool for distance learning, game night, coffee klatches, or virtual cocktail hour. While there’s no substitution…
Across the globe a ‘no touch’ culture is now the new normal. At this point in the health crisis there is still plenty of uncertainty. But one thing is for sure: the situation is serious and deadly, and this virus does not discriminate. We have been asked to isolate until May 1st but even that…
The service industry in the United States has been hard hit by the Coronavirus. Many restaurants and bars have closed their doors. The ones that are open for take-out have limited menus which means limited staffing. Waiters aren’t paid high wages and they rely on tips. If a service is offered, even during hard…
The Joy Luck Club My sister Alli was involved with an organization called BayKids Studios. They are charged with empowering children with serious illnesses and express themselves through the power of filmmaking. As their mission states, “Instead of children with illnesses, they become kids with cameras and stories to tell.” I signed up on the…
By now you are getting used to conscious uncoupling. It’s not so easy living without the human touch, and 2020 is turning out to be a year like no other. All public events have been cancelled, and many milestones are on hold: graduations, weddings, funerals, and one of the holiest holidays of the year, Easter.…
Produce bag doubles as a wipe for a shopping cart Tips on How to Thrive and Survive We may be living six feet apart, but we’re still in this together. While spatial distancing is now as common as brushing your teeth, space sharing takes a close second. With schools closed and many parents working from…
We are at war with a virus. Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius At this point in time, I hope you’re enjoying the world’s shortest commute. We are living in extraordinary times. The bad news is isolation. The good news is that you’re the pilot…
Spatial Distance Dining At Sunday night’s presidential debate, Vice President Joe Biden proclaimed that we are at war with a virus. It has a name, but Covid-19 is still shrouded in mystery and there is no vaccine to prevent the virus. This we know for sure: in order for containment to take place, we must…
Reverse commute etiquette: This is my home office. You no longer have to worry about calling in sick. As businesses take precautions to limit the spread of Covid-19, employees are being asked to work from home. The challenge now is how to work around other family members. The location may have changed, but the rules…
Prevention is the best medicine. And we thought death and taxes were bad? We have been told more than once that this virus will get worse before it gets better. Viruses do not discriminate, so we all need to join together as a nation, not just country to ward off this disease. This too…
Villa D'este Lake Como Toasting: Keep the toast light and remember that it’s a toast, not a roast. Avoid saying anything personal about the individual and keep it short, 2 minutes maximum. Gesundheit. If you have to sneeze, by all means, but turn your head to do so. Never use your napkin to blow your…
High above the clouds with my Sol Sisters. Rancho La Puerta is a magical place for me. My interests growing up rarely involved exercise except for swim team. If there was a cheer leading squad, I was on it. When the latest film hit theaters, I was at opening night. My heart and soul belonged…
My sister, my bridesmaid, and her daughter, the mini-me flower girl. 1. Be Kind So You Don’t Have To Rewind. Saying no is okay as long as it’s done gently and with good reason. 2. If You Know From The Get Go That You Cannot Be In The Wedding, Just Say No. That way the…
From my heart to yours. Here’s a short list of how to behave in the office on Valentines’ Day. 1. Be Professional. Just because it involves hearts and kisses doesn’t mean you have to be part of the equation. 2. Bring In Sweets For The Entire Office To Enjoy. If chocolate cupcakes are your…
Camping out is for the wilderness. The coffee culture has long gone mainstream, and mobile offices are the new normal. Don't forget your manners while out having coffee for business or pleasure. 1. Keep your voice to a minimum if on a conference call. Use headsets. 2. Order something to drink. If you’ll be camping…
A business thank you note example, happy writing! How long after a job interview should you send a thank you note? 24 hours so you are not forgotten. Statistics show that sending a note versus not sending a note will impress said company and that you’re more likely than not - to get a job.…
Happy Year of the Rat! Welcome to the Year of the Rat. Chinese New Year is all about passing on good luck for the coming year. This is why Feng Shui is vital to their culture: it’s all about enhancing harmony and balance. The last thing you want to do is give a gift that…
Hold onto your hankies when you are sick. Email is an accepted form of communication when it comes to calling in sick, but make sure you’re clear from the get-go so your boss doesn’t think you’re playing hooky. Here is a list of acceptable reasons why you can’t come to work: 1. You’re Contagious. Of…
It's flu and cold season. Pass it on. Misery does not love company. The common cold, influenza, and viruses all spell one thing: germs. It’s a pain being sick, but it’s even worse to make other people sick. Infections are easily spread, so don’t pass it on. Stay home, catch up on a good book,…
Think before you speak. It's much easier to be kind than to rewind. Sometimes we are rude without even knowing it. In general, stay away from topics that are controversial, like politics or religion. And whether you know another person well or not, there are some questions that should never be asked. Here are some…
Every new year, Dear Abby prints a column called "Just for Today." Pictured with her at a dinner I hosted in San Francisco. It’s that time of year: December. Too many parties and libations, which means January will come as a welcome relief and a chance to start again. Although most of us try to…
Sunday brunch dessert presentation Holidays are a time for friends and family, the time when we cook, drink, and eat together, and celebrate good cheer. Here are some tips for doing it in style: 1. What is the biggest faux pas people make when setting their table for a big holiday meal? The biggest faux…
Wallpaper remnant from my powder room tied with Buddha gold ribbon. Shopping at the mall has been replaced by shopping online. However, unless you have your gift sent directly to the giftee, you still have to wrap it. Wrap Like a Pro In San Francisco, the go-to place for the perfect gift and gift wrap…
For the bridge player, a playing card themed tip towel and coordinating cocktail napkins. The H in holiday has unfortunately come to stand for hurried and hassled. Picking out hostess gifts and presenting them with pride should be fun. The key to choosing a gift is to get back to basics. You can be stylish…
Dinner in the wine country for 50. Think the golden rule and treat your server as you would want to be treated – with respect. Working in the service industry is tough, so be kind to your server. The nicer you are to your server, the better service you’ll receive. Remember, sometimes things are beyond…
I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual. —Henry David Thoreau Large gatherings always bring an element of stress for the host. Here are tips for making your Thanksgiving dinner a time to enjoy your friends, family, and feast. Ask Your Guests To Contribute To The Dinner. Thanksgiving is a…
The Simple Meaning of Etiquette Founder of the protocol school of Washington, Dorothea Johnson and her granddaughter Liv Tyler Any way you slice the turkey, we are all judged by our appearance and behavior. And far more than we realize, we unconsciously pass judgment on others. The rules of etiquette are simply the code of behavior in…
“Be nice to people on your way up because you’ll meet them on your way down.” —Wilson Mezner Many companies hold exit interviews for employees who have decided to move on to help the company understand how to improve their work environment. If it’s time for you to leave, say good-bye in the best way…
Charmers Peter Duchin, Joel Grey, Wilkes Bashford, and Willie Brown. From your love fountain / You offered the charmed drink / Only to be intoxicated / As I slowly drown in you —Amitav (Radiance) Charmed, I’m Sure Charm school. Lucky Charms. Charm and personality. What exactly does it mean to be charming? Is charm…
Candy Costumes: My niece Charlotte and her friends on Halloween 2015. They all dressed as their favorite “sweet treats.” Growing up I loved Halloween. My favorite candies were Sweet Tarts, Red Vines and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Not much has changed except that I don’t wear costumes. If I want candy I buy it or…
Making the best of a power outage at Gump’s San Francisco. Welcome back! Prepare. Plan. Don’t Panic. If you live in Sonoma County, it’s too late to prepare for the current outage, but that doesn’t mean you have to panic, or plan ahead for the next outage. PG&E has turned off power due to…
My childhood friend Jane Sibbett in high school signing my yearbook with my nickname, which was "Merz." Some rules may go out of style, but good manners never do. And although the rules of etiquette change faster than we can keep track of, we still judge a book by its cover. The face you…
When paying the bill for a business event, never have your money strewn about. We've all made them, and they can be costly, not only to your reputation but to your bottom line. To avoid mistakes in the future, here are some important rules to follow in the business world: Don't be late. When I…
This was the title of my teen etiquette class that I taught at the San Francisco Midweeklies, a finishing school for 6th and 7th graders. From the classroom to the boardroom, the same rules of civility apply. Yet today, civility has been replaced by a blatant lack of manners which has become all too commonplace. …
My husband John and I at the San Francisco Opera Opening, 2017. As a college music major, classical pieces are the end all for me. At the San Francisco Opera opening last week, the pre-performance was spoiled by a group of hecklers who attempted to spoil the experience. Luckily, the interruption was temporary. In…
My nephew Matthew and his friend Patrick on the first day of sophomore year. It’s that time of year when we set our clocks back and leap forward to a new school year. As summer comes to a close, it’s fitness frenzy for back to school fashion, essential accessories such as school supplies and…
Potluck means sharing. Sharing with my swim class friends. I put together a soup and salad bar, and the others guests provided appies, drinks and dessert. Seven-Up was once advertised as the “un-cola.” Today, a potluck host is more like an “un-host,” usually providing the site for a party or dinner but not all the…
During and after my performance: on home plate and post performance with mayor of SF Willie Brown (1996 - 2004) Does public speaking or performance make you nervous? Nerves can get the best of us under the best of circumstances. On Flag Day (June 14) many moons ago, I sang the National Anthem at…
The information highway is busier than ever. The only downtime that seems to exist is when our phones are turned off. With texting, social media channels, and emails galore, simplifying our messaging seems in order. Have you ever been on the receiving end of a group email thread that just keeps going on and on?…
Disneyland. There’s nothing in the world like this theme park, and it always makes the best first impression. Making a good first impression with clients, colleagues, and acquaintances is key. In all encounters with others, showing a genuine interest in the other person is the best way to make a good first impression. Don’t forget what basic…