Proper etiquette dictates never to ask for gifts. A wedding or shower registry is no exception. How can we best craft the messaging around this registry? Easy: It’s much more polite to pass on this message verbally without mentioning it on the invitation. If someone asks, you can give them the information, but it’s one of those unwritten rules that everyone will come with a gift in hand.
Ask without the Ask:
1. Use a Universal Registry.
A few large retailers are always a safe bet and have easy return policies.
2. Timing Is Everything.
It’s better to create it early on. Some of us like to shop 24/7.
3. Choose Together.
It takes two to make a marriage, so pick items together for the registry.
4. Choose Only What You Need.
The retail choice is overwhelming, so only choose items that you really need. The sterling silver chopsticks and caviar spoons might have to wait a few years.
5. Keep the Messaging Short.
“Thank you to our friends and family who have been asking for gift suggestions. We have created an online registry.” Only include a link if a guest asks for it.
6. Register in a Wide Range of Prices.
The thought counts, even if the gift is small in price.
7. Eliminate Big-Ticket Items.
Save the high-ticket gifts for family members.
8. Choose a Gift That Keeps on Giving.
Purchase gifts such as books or games that won’t quickly be outgrown. They can also be passed down to family or friends.
9. Update Often.
Check your registry to ensure enough choices for guests at all price points.
Lost & Found: My aunt Helen’s wedding photo from the 1940s. My mother was the flower girl, far left. She and her sister were 20 years apart.